man... it's been difficult for me to come on here and share what's inside of me. I am so closed off from everything in such a weird way. It seems that I have no control over how I am able to express myself most of the time, as if all my desires and emotions, all the things that I know would be the right way to go about acting or reacting are locked up inside of me behind a cage of ribs and flesh like stone. I can sometimes hear the faint cry of the Spirit trying to help me free them, to turn these stones into flesh again so that these spiritual things can seep back through my pores and penetrate my life... but a louder voice easily disarms the work of the former and my mouth stays sealed up and my pores remain a prison.
When I was in Guatemala I was so easily moved by the Spirit and all of this became more accesible in a way. Not for any reason that has been changed by geography, but by the condition of my heart at all times. It's a good thing to come to our senses again to regain focus on what's important and become a soft vessel for God to work with... but when it comes and goes just as easily, our ground isn't solid is it? When I was in Panimaquin my purpose was clear and my heart and mind were focused on that purpose (not to say that I succeeded valiantly), to please God. I made myself availiable and did not have many distractions... that loud voice faded away on that mountain. Again, geography; not the issue. When we are focused soley on pleasing God, the sense of the Spirit becomes hightened and in that way we resist the devil. Resisting the devil isn't a battle that we have to fight one on one because trust me, if we try to fight him off in order to focus on the heart of God, he will take us down. Our first task in resisting the "enemy" is placing our focus on our heavenly Father and turning our back to the devil... and though we seem defenseless in this position we must understand that Jesus is our defense. Picture a line drawn on the ground (probably drawn by Jesus... in sidewalk chalk... He likes to do that sometimes) and the devil is trying to come attack us... but he can't cross the line. He will shout curses and lies and try to build up our flesh to distract us so that we stop focusing of God and cross over to his side for a little fight, and when we do this, when we cross over into his territory to give him a bloody nose and our focus isn't on God anymore we begin to fall prey to his temptations. We only need to stay on our side of the line and turn our attention to God and when we do this, the enemy's voice is silenced.
May we make it our aim to always please God in everything we do... even if we begin to look a little crazy, because "if we are beside ourselves it's for His sake." I want to release the Spirit in my life to lead me out of my own captivity and into the freedom of the spiritual life we have been given by God. I am tired of shrinking back in the crucial moments that arise at unexpected times and leave me in despair. I am tired of hurting the closest friend I have just because she's so near to the real me. I am tired of seeing hopelessness and opportunities for God's light to shine but turning away because of more "important" things. I want to be undevided in my pursuit of pleasing my Father, so His Spirit can set me apart from my own ways and not one of these stones will be left standing.
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Potter, you're a profound dude and the Lord is going to use both you and your wife in awesome ways in the years to come, I know it.
ReplyDeleteThese past couple days have been a trial of sorts for me as well and I really like the way you depicted Jesus, with sidewalk chalk no less, in your write up here.
When we rely on our flesh we are going to lose, hands down. Today was a clear reminder of that for me, yet somehow, in a righteous way, God really sorted me out and brought the day to a gnarly close.
I was at a Steak n Shake with Alyssa and we both ended up chatting with this dude Andy who works there. Found out the guy was a Christian and we chatted up a storm about life, our emotional struggles and the need to meditate on and with the Lord in His creation. Point being, it feels so genuine to connect with strangers, regardless of their faith, and to sit there and talk with zero inhibitions.
Two things matter in this life: God and people.
I heard that earlier this past week and the more I ponder on that saying the more it becomes so infinitely true.
With that said, you're awesome brother and it has been a great privilege getting to know the Potter clan over this past year.
Stay metal for the Lord.
~777
This is who you are!
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why I love you.
Forgive me as I'm going to go long -
ReplyDeleteI'm been thinking on the conditions of our hearts quite a bit as of late, and I'm glad to see you sharing this. It is quite easy for us to hole ourselves up inside of minds, allowing only the tiniest bits of our true thoughts and feelings to escape our lips as we hold it all back inside of ourselves for various reasons.
Regardless of WHY we do it, it is clear that we should NOT be doing it in the first place. Not only is it insincere, it is also untrusting of those around us, and of Christ.
We are called to be vessels of Him, but how can we ever do it if we don't allow ourselves to be completely genuine? I suffer from the same feelings and that you do, of being locked away, and I've never forgotten the night in Guatemala where we all really opened up - mainly because what you did that night, and how you responded to the Spirit was a major encouragement to me and a testament to the fact that it is possible to respond right at any given moment, regardless of the cost to ourselves.
You are much loved, and your voice needs to be heard - it is just as much His voice as it is yours, and that is a truly powerful thing.
I just wrote a semi-long comment and it got deleted because the page didn't load correctly. =(
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. Man, if we opened ourselves up to the Spirit, I mean REALLY opened ourselves up...I'm convinced that it would change the world.
I absolutely love each and every one of you immensely...
ReplyDeleteWrestle with it all, and keep your eyes locked on Him...