Loving Naturally

What is the greatest trait that a Christian is meant to be known for? Love, right? If you walk down the street and ask random people what Christians really are known for you will get a variety of different answers. There will be those who say things like God, love, or generosity but you will also hear a lot of other things such as homophobia, hatred of other religions, hypocrites, judgmental-ism or in general, being known for what they are against instead of what they are supposed to be.

The amazing thing about Jesus is that he walked the earth in perfection fully knowing the evil that was in the heart of man and still loved us so much that he gave his life. Jesus’ message was completely against the sin that people lived in, yet sinners still wanted to hang out with him. I believe that Jesus saw people differently than you or I do most of the time. He chose to see their potential for redemption instead of just their offensiveness to God. He was able to do this because he understood that his purpose as the messiah was to take the sin of the world upon himself and condemn it, not the world.
As Christians, our single most greatest responsibility is to love God and love others. What if we were able to combine those two great commandments into one act of seeing God or the fingerprint of God in every person. When we look at people who are living in sin we have the choice to see them as if they are the very essence of their sin or as if they are a beautiful child of God who is held captive as a slave to sin. The truth of the matter is that many Christians confess their love for God without expressing that love to the world around them. But if we say we love God without loving our brother in a practical way the bible calls us a liar. Many Christians define themselves not by their ability to forgive, their generosity or their love toward their enemies but by the what viewpoints they are against. I think it’s time that we as Christians live for something instead of living against something. Let’s live for the redemption of people instead of living against the sins of people and then we will find it easier to love people.

The Favor of His Face

I haven't written on here in a while... so if no one reads this that's alright. I was doing some thinking as I usually am at some point in the day and I decided to write down what was going through my head because I always say I should but never do. So here it is. (this turned out to be harder than I thought... I always forget the stuff that flies through my head!!)

(this turned out to a bit lengthy.. my jumbled thoughts. The last paragraph is kind of a summary of what I am trying to say)

I want to write about worshiping God and why it's important. Not that I don't think most Christians already know 'why' but that 'why' really does create a doorway into seeing God more clearly.

The first thing I want to say is that God doesn't "need" our worship one bit. I think most Christians know this and maybe some are wondering why God is so egotistical. But he is perfectly fine without our worship, perfectly at peace, perfectly secure and perfectly loved. I glanced over a verse before writing this and it was in Exodus 20:22-25, God talking to Moses about worship sacrifices, and he said "You have seen for yourselves that I have talked with you from heaven... you shall not make gods of silver or gold... you shall make for me an altar of earth... if you make an altar of stone... if you wield your tool on it you profane it..." As I read these phrases a thought jumped into my head (that's usually the spirit of revelation), "what if the reason God never wanted his altars or his dwelling place to be fashioned by tools is because of the same reason He hates the worship of idols, He created us to attach the affection of our heart to the life giving being who created all things and was not created or formed by anything else so that through our connection to Him we would become blessed and the world would receive His blessing through us." What happens when we build something for God is we put our glory on it and in doing so we worship our own creation and not the Great Creator. When we do that, we shine with our own dull glory but the creation is groaning for the revealing of the sons of God who are led by the Spirit and shine with the glory of God! So, I said all that to say this: God doesn't want us to give Him anything, he just wants to "yada" us and for us to "yada" him (this word I'm using means to know by experience or to reveal oneself).

We were created for God, as stated in Col 1:16, but not as servants; as friends (we 'serve' from the position of friendship). In the Old Covenant it's easy to see that the relationship between God and Israel is painted as a master and servant relationship on a large scale. But let's take a quick look at Moses' relationship with God. The Bible says, in Ex 33:11 and Num 12:7, that God spoke with Moses face to face as a man speaks to his friend and that Moses even beheld the actual form of God. Why is this exactly? I believe it's because Moses understood what true worship was and because of that he was able to find favor with God. Ex 33:12-17 goes something like this: Moses tells God 'you've told me that you know me by name and I have found favor in your sight. Now if I have favor, please show me your ways that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight.' He then goes on to tell God that he wouldn't go to the promised land without His presence because it's His presence that sets them apart and shows His favor on them. So God says, "This very thing you have spoken I will do (His presence going with them), for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name." Here we see that the favor of God is directly linked to His presence on our life. God's presence will only dwell on a person who makes himself known to God and is intimately acquainted with Him. This of course takes courage and sacrifice.

In Ex 19:16-20 we are given a scene in which God comes down in a thick cloud with thunder, lightning, a loud trumpet blast, fire and even an earthquake and all the people trembled. In the next chapter the people stand away from God's presence and tell Moses to speak to them an behalf of God because they thought they would die but Moses says, "Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin." The people stand far off while Moses draws near to the thick darkness where God was. Moses told them not to fear but only to have the fear of God that will keep them from sin. Moses knew not to be afraid. Why did Moses have a different perspective of this chaotic scene? Because he had become intimately acquainted with the ways of God and knew His heart for Israel.

So, let me answer this question of 'why' we worship. We know that we don't worship in order to appease God. We know that we don't worship just because God commands us to. I believe that the reason we worship God is that through the act of making ourselves known to God and being intimately acquainted with Him, the favor of His face, His presence, is upon our lives and that is how we become blessed and become a blessing. Every moment we spend in the presence of God marks us with His name, that is to say that the essence of his divine nature and character influence our spirit and we become renewed to be more like Him. God loves us and He wants to give us every good gift but even Jesus had to "grow in favor" with God. Some things will only be given to us (in order to become a greater blessing) through growing in God's favor, and I believe that is the result of our worship.

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious (to favor) you;

The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

So shall they put my name upon the people of Israel, and I will bless them."

(inside joke for if you read the whole post. God really does like a lot of yada yada!)

I got SOAKED!!!

Well, not literally soaked. We had another home group night this week (last week we prophecied over eachother) and soaked. We were just having an encounter with Jesus and journaling what happened to us.
So, I lay there praying a bit and decided that I would try an "exercise" that we learned from a lady at school. It's called "the sanctified imagination." I said I will just imagine You Lord and be open to the Spirits influence. The song we were listening to said, "... come to the well" and so I did. I imagined myself coming to a well and on the other side of the well was a big hill. I thought, 'I'll imagine Jesus coming down that hill to me now...' but the Spirit redirected me and instead I saw Jesus hand on my shoulder already. He was with me all along. I turned and saw His joyful expression as He pushed me down the well! I fell for a bit and hit some water but when I came up out of the water I wasn't in a well, I was in a great big lake. I felt intense joy at that moment and began to laugh (in my physical body). I felt the Spirit say that this was the lake of joy inside of me, I thought it was as small as the well but it's much bigger. I noticed Jesus on the shore laughing too so I went to Him. My intention was to gt out of the lake and be "buddy buddy" with Jesus but the Spirit showed me my true posture. I was bowed reverently at His feet and just like on the mount of transfiguration Jesus touched me and said, "It's Me." I stood and saw His joy for me and He said, "Come, I want to show you The Father." So, I acctually stepped into Jesus' body like the matrix and I then found myself in the throne room. I saw my Father and Jesus standing at His side saying come on. I walked to Him as far as I could but then stopped.. He looked compassionate and loving. I said, "I am afraid to come closer." I wanted to. (this was a very real and open moment for me because I have been dealing with heart issues that keep me closed off from people and even worse, from my Father) He knelt beside His throne and despelled the lie I believed about Him by telling me that He isn't mad at me for being afraid and He loves me always. I almost decided to go back to the lake to be filled with the feeling of joy because I perceived that God was allowing me to go. But, I decided to stay and be in the throne room as close as possible. (the end)
That was a fun time. It is progress because I couldn't really picture my Father not to long ago and now I am in the throne room!
Another fun thing this week is that I received a prophetic drawing (the church is passionate about taking the Kingdom into all facets of society including art, science, media, music, business, government and etc.). The drawing was of a man standing around bayes of hale and that man was me. It symbolized that I was to come in as the harvest was being reaped (the harvest of souls) and that I would go find all the scrapes and unwanted materials that fell to the wayside (The people that are left and broken and scattered around. The ones who are difficult to reach) and I would bundle them up. It was also about joy. This task would be wearisome and a burden to most people but that it would be full of joy for me.
I thought that was a spot on word for me... what do you think?

Kiss Chasers.....

You thought I was going to bring some message about us being kiss chasers with God didn't you? Well, important as that is, I am going to acctually talk about a home group we began going to last night called "kiss chasers." It is led by second year students one whom I roomed with at our retreat week named Sam. We began by just going around the room sharing about ourselves and getting comfortable with each other. At the end the second year students began to pray and prophecy encouraging words over us, so that was fun. While Sam was prophecying over me he spoke a word that my time of being hidden in the cleft of the rock with God will end and I will be released to pour out into others in more powerful ways, also that he percieved that I had a passion for revelation through God's written word (which I do love) but that I should be prepared to hear and experience God in new ways with His Spirit and that I have a fathers heart for others, that I will raise up young believers to know God's love. I loved these words and when he said, "fathers heart" a memory flashed through my head of David Paluski months ago prophecying, "God is going to grow you up quickly because there are a lot of people He needs you to take care of"and also a man here named Frank spoke a word that I have a fathers heart a couple weeks ago! So, as Sam prayed I felt The Spirit impress on me, "Joel." I said, "What?" Then He said, "Ask Sam to laugh over you." So I asked Sam to laugh over me and he did so, violently and then he brushed my back saying, "I brush off all limitations, no limits!" and I felt things shift in my spirit and joy being released... it felt great. So I then asked about Joel, "I heard the name Joel, does that mean anything to you?" He started laughing again and said, "Yes, I've been looking at you all night thinking of how much you remind me of my good friend Joel back home (in England). So, all in all, it was a good night and I am feeling happy.

Re-Soiling My Heart

"As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience."

I read this passage recently and began to ask The Lord to give me a heart that is full of good soil; a heart that is pure and honest before my King. I have been looking back on my relationship with my Lord and all the goodness that I have found in Him and all the revelation that He has given me and have been realizing how much I have taken it all for granted. It seems that I am in a process of re-soiling my heart so God can spread the seeds of revelation again.
I remember the time that I realized God's desire for an intimate relationship with us and that He has empowered us to pursue Him and to find Him. I remember that God showed me how openley He spoke with His prophets and through them to His people and that today He has torn the veil so that the pathways of communion would be opened to us all through His Holy Spirit.
I received these revelations with an open and glad heart and experienced a change inside of me. There's an expression here at Bethel that says, "Revelation is meant to move us into encounter..." After my revelation I began to move into an encounter of the fruit of the revelation and through that was born a desire for intimacy. I was rocked with a desire to "know" God and experience His love and goodness as a friend, and for a time I reaped the fruits of the seed... "And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature."
I realized recentely that I didn't continue to cultivate my heart and keep the soil strong and fertile and I didn't continue to press into new depths of the revelations which would result in the maturing of the fruit (the encounter) of the revelation.
I also have had a revelation of why I was to not publicy lead worship but to pursue deeper levels of worship in private. Bill Johnson talks about spiritual inheritance and the principle behind it is that the celienge of generation past should become our floor today. But for generations that hasn't happened. So, what Bill is doing here is equiping the church and imparting all of the spiritual breakthrough that he has "contended" for to us to make into our floor. He says that it's easy to come under the anointing of others and "ride the wave" of their authority or power; that we should see almost immediate breakthrough for the things we are being equiped for only because we are "riding the wave." So, we must really press into the breakthroughs here and earn them in our private times with God. We must sacrifice something in order to take the breakthrough with us when we leave. Now, while I heard this being taught one time, I realized that back home I would lead worship in a group setting and the anointing and passion would fall easily upon me and out of that place I would worship God... but when I became alone (after a while of having an un-cultivated heart) I would not have the same experience and it bugged me. I was riding the wave of others passion for God and their desire to worship Him and because I didn't press into a spiritual breakthrough in private with God I wasn't able to carry it into those private times. So, I am re-cultivating my heart and pressing into spiritual breakthrough that I will have an authority to carry with me no matter where I go.

Tip-Toe-Ing For Unity

Iron sharpens iron is what the good book says... but we seem to either avoid the delicate (and maybe uncomfortable) process of being sharpened and remain dull or we feel so sharp already that we want to cut our opposing "iron" into two defeated pieces.
I have encountered numerous occassions in which politics and theological viewpoints become a topic that are met with the phrase, "thems are fighten words." It can be a most difficult thing to allow someone elses view of the truth affect your own because we are easily arrogant enough to think that we have it all figured out. And so, instead of going through the uncomfortable process of sharpening eachothers knowledge and understanding of the truth, we tip-toe around these topics and doctrines that need to be exposed to the light.
So (speaking to me also) let's get over ourselves please and learn to disagree well, let's see that we don't know anything, and let's learn how to find truth together with the Spirit.

rib cage... or cage of ribs?

man... it's been difficult for me to come on here and share what's inside of me. I am so closed off from everything in such a weird way. It seems that I have no control over how I am able to express myself most of the time, as if all my desires and emotions, all the things that I know would be the right way to go about acting or reacting are locked up inside of me behind a cage of ribs and flesh like stone. I can sometimes hear the faint cry of the Spirit trying to help me free them, to turn these stones into flesh again so that these spiritual things can seep back through my pores and penetrate my life... but a louder voice easily disarms the work of the former and my mouth stays sealed up and my pores remain a prison.
When I was in Guatemala I was so easily moved by the Spirit and all of this became more accesible in a way. Not for any reason that has been changed by geography, but by the condition of my heart at all times. It's a good thing to come to our senses again to regain focus on what's important and become a soft vessel for God to work with... but when it comes and goes just as easily, our ground isn't solid is it? When I was in Panimaquin my purpose was clear and my heart and mind were focused on that purpose (not to say that I succeeded valiantly), to please God. I made myself availiable and did not have many distractions... that loud voice faded away on that mountain. Again, geography; not the issue. When we are focused soley on pleasing God, the sense of the Spirit becomes hightened and in that way we resist the devil. Resisting the devil isn't a battle that we have to fight one on one because trust me, if we try to fight him off in order to focus on the heart of God, he will take us down. Our first task in resisting the "enemy" is placing our focus on our heavenly Father and turning our back to the devil... and though we seem defenseless in this position we must understand that Jesus is our defense. Picture a line drawn on the ground (probably drawn by Jesus... in sidewalk chalk... He likes to do that sometimes) and the devil is trying to come attack us... but he can't cross the line. He will shout curses and lies and try to build up our flesh to distract us so that we stop focusing of God and cross over to his side for a little fight, and when we do this, when we cross over into his territory to give him a bloody nose and our focus isn't on God anymore we begin to fall prey to his temptations. We only need to stay on our side of the line and turn our attention to God and when we do this, the enemy's voice is silenced.
May we make it our aim to always please God in everything we do... even if we begin to look a little crazy, because "if we are beside ourselves it's for His sake." I want to release the Spirit in my life to lead me out of my own captivity and into the freedom of the spiritual life we have been given by God. I am tired of shrinking back in the crucial moments that arise at unexpected times and leave me in despair. I am tired of hurting the closest friend I have just because she's so near to the real me. I am tired of seeing hopelessness and opportunities for God's light to shine but turning away because of more "important" things. I want to be undevided in my pursuit of pleasing my Father, so His Spirit can set me apart from my own ways and not one of these stones will be left standing.